on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
