I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
