Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
