girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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