Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Text me some of your sweat
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
