Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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