Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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