If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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