I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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