i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Bring me that man meat
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I need to calm my uterus...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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