I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
