i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
