No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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