well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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