Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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she pinky promised me she was 18
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
they're like a gay fantastic four
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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