sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
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Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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