the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
