I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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