I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
