I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
