We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you will always have a special place in my vag
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
