piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
