I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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