he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
