She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
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Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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