Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
