At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
