# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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