I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
