just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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