i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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