I think I won the penis lottery.
I think my fart just growled at me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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