he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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