My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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