Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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