So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
