Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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