Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
