Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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