Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize