you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm just crazy horny about you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
