His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
