Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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