That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
