if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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