No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
