I hate your face
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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