so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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