I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize