i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you inspire me to be a worse person
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
