I was born with a shot glass in my hand
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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