She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
