a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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