so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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