I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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