It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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