apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize