Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
