Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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