But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
