Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
