There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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